A new kind of hero
As a lifelong sports fan, I’ve had my share of heroes.
Last week, I found a new one.
Maybe you heard about Jason McElwain, the kid who scored 20 points in a New York State high school game.
The autistic kid who served as team manager and came in and hit six threes in the last 4:19 of a game and was then hoisted up on the shoulders of his classmates.
I saw it in passing Thursday afternoon at lunch in Raleigh, thought about it all weekend and then decided to write about it Sunday night.
You see, my 4-year-old son Ethan is autistic. To you, autism is just a word. Maybe you think about Dustin Hoffman in “Rain Man.”
Don’t feel bad. Five years ago, I didn’t know either.
Now I know that it means a lot of things. It means he isn’t potty trained yet. It means he would rather play alone than with other kids. It means most of his talking comes from repeating what others say, or “echolalia” as the textbooks say. It means having my heart ripped out when people stare at him when he throws a tantrum.
And as his father, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if I will ever get to share my love of sports with my son. I wondered if he can go to a normal school, have normal friends or a normal life.
I’M NOT wondering anymore.Jason didn’t talk until he was five, but he attends Greece Athena High School, serving as team manager for the Trojans’ basketball team. That is, until his coach, Jim Johnson, made a hero out of him.
I should have known that my peace of mind could be bolstered by sports. The “6th man” student section at Greece Athena printed up pictures of Jason, just in case he got to play. They cheered and jumped up and down with enough intensity to shake the home video you might have seen on ESPN.And they laughed with him, hugged him and carried him off the court.
They didn’t treat him like Jason McElwain, the autistic kid. He’s “J-MAC” to them, a kid who’s going to graduate and go to community college next year.
HE’S A kid who stands all of 5-6 with an awkward looking jump shot that scored the most points for the Trojans on Senior Night in his first and only high school game.
I’m not much of a crier, but I’ve shed a tear or two over this story. It taught me to look at my son for who he is, rather than for the label he carries.
He’s sweet, he loves to wrestle with me and he already plays the guitar and keyboard better than I do. He tells me he loves me and I can get a hug anytime I want one.
A lot of parents with autistic children would kill to be able to write any of that.
I don’t know what the future holds for my little boy, but I do know this. I don’t care anymore if he grows up to be like Mike.
I’d much rather see him end up like Jason.
Last week, I found a new one.
Maybe you heard about Jason McElwain, the kid who scored 20 points in a New York State high school game.
The autistic kid who served as team manager and came in and hit six threes in the last 4:19 of a game and was then hoisted up on the shoulders of his classmates.
I saw it in passing Thursday afternoon at lunch in Raleigh, thought about it all weekend and then decided to write about it Sunday night.
You see, my 4-year-old son Ethan is autistic. To you, autism is just a word. Maybe you think about Dustin Hoffman in “Rain Man.”
Don’t feel bad. Five years ago, I didn’t know either.
Now I know that it means a lot of things. It means he isn’t potty trained yet. It means he would rather play alone than with other kids. It means most of his talking comes from repeating what others say, or “echolalia” as the textbooks say. It means having my heart ripped out when people stare at him when he throws a tantrum.
And as his father, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if I will ever get to share my love of sports with my son. I wondered if he can go to a normal school, have normal friends or a normal life.
I’M NOT wondering anymore.Jason didn’t talk until he was five, but he attends Greece Athena High School, serving as team manager for the Trojans’ basketball team. That is, until his coach, Jim Johnson, made a hero out of him.
I should have known that my peace of mind could be bolstered by sports. The “6th man” student section at Greece Athena printed up pictures of Jason, just in case he got to play. They cheered and jumped up and down with enough intensity to shake the home video you might have seen on ESPN.And they laughed with him, hugged him and carried him off the court.
They didn’t treat him like Jason McElwain, the autistic kid. He’s “J-MAC” to them, a kid who’s going to graduate and go to community college next year.
HE’S A kid who stands all of 5-6 with an awkward looking jump shot that scored the most points for the Trojans on Senior Night in his first and only high school game.
I’m not much of a crier, but I’ve shed a tear or two over this story. It taught me to look at my son for who he is, rather than for the label he carries.
He’s sweet, he loves to wrestle with me and he already plays the guitar and keyboard better than I do. He tells me he loves me and I can get a hug anytime I want one.
A lot of parents with autistic children would kill to be able to write any of that.
I don’t know what the future holds for my little boy, but I do know this. I don’t care anymore if he grows up to be like Mike.
I’d much rather see him end up like Jason.
posted by Randy Capps at 8:25 AM
14 Comments:
Yeah, but you're hopelessly biased.
Great article Randy. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, man.
I admire you for your faith in your son! I work with special needs children and I would just like to tell you NEVER GIVE UP!
Randy, I donot know if we have met personall but I have met your wife when she worked at Cleveland Headline News. I read your articles regularly and have enjoyed them for a long tme! Today's article touched not only that part of my cognitive brain but my emotional "heart"! You shared a part of yourself which many people cannot or will not do. Your son and family are blessed to have a father and husband that can reach the level of understanding you shared with your readers because I know if you are willing to take that risk with people you don't even know, the people you love will enjoy and benfit from your modeling and compassion for the rest of their life. Thank you again for sharing "A new kind of hero"we're fortunat in our county to have a "Special kind of sport's writer! James H. Hines, jr.
You're very kind. Thank you.
Randy -- one of the absolute best columns I've EVER read. I've always been impressed with your writing, but you turned it up a notch with this piece. It's evident this came from your heart. The Shelby Star is lucky to have a talent like you.
I should probably go ask for a raise in the midst of all this positive feedback.
You guys are too kind.
I love you guys. And I thought about you, Randy, when I saw the story myself. Ethan has the potential to be anything in this world that can possibly be imagined. With the love of two great parents and a little time who knows where he'll be!
Your article was beautiful.
Tia
(ps. If you would write less sports related articles... I'd read more, you're very talanted... and after all these years I'm just finding out!)
God never makes mistakes. He uses all things for good and reading your article brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. Thank you for sharing on a level that one and all, whether a sports fan or not, can relate. With parents like you and Shanna and a heavenly Father with whom "all things are possible", Ethan is in good hands. Praising God and Praying for you! Misti =)
OK randy, you made us cry. Shanna and you are blessed to have the son you have. You both are great parents you have gone through alot. You know we love you both and by the way, MISS YOU SO MUCH here in Marion. We know God will give you the patience to deal with Ethan everyday.
Kevin, Shana and Riley
wow...after reading this article all I can say is wow....it was a blessing to read that article.
Randy -
It takes a hero to write a story like this. I am glad to be your pastor. God has given you hope and now you have shared that hope with many others.
Keep up the good work.
Our family is blessed to have you
in it Randy. When you married our daughter was one of the best days. Thank you for our precious grandson Ethan. God gave him to you and Shanna because he knew that he would be in good hands. Thanks for being a great son.
We love you.
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